The Misconceptions of Us (Reader x Levi) {AU}

‘Psssst.’

You looked up from the carefully crafted Lord of the Flies essay you were currently in the midst of composing.

‘What?’

‘Why does trig exist?’

‘To stump idiots.’ You resumed writing, your pen scratching.

‘Oh.’ There was a pause. ‘Wait, hey that’s a bit-‘

‘Will you please shut up?’ You threw the pen down and spun your chair around to face Jean who looked a bit confused. ‘The point of independent study hall is the independence.’

Jean raised his hands in mock defence. ‘Jeez, I was just trying to make conversation.’  

‘Well make it somewhere else. I’m busy.’ Behind your back, Jean made a derogatory noise that you assumed was also accompanied by an obscene hand gesture. For a while, he complied to your demands and there was a blissful silence.

For a short while that is.

Because in your books, Jean unashamedly held the proud title as the Ultimate Gay Lord of Ignorance and Stupidity so in the end, you didn’t bother sighing when you felt that familiar tap on your shoulder. Instead, you deigned to turn back to Jack and Ralph and pigs instead of perhaps losing a couple of IQ points trying to reason with a bloody troll.

‘(F/N)! Seriously this is important!’ Jean was frantically trying to get your attention. Your plan didn’t go too well and because you didn’t want any more of Jean’s spit inside your ear, you whirled around.

‘WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?’

The professor sitting at the front of the hall gave you a withering look. ‘Miss (L/N), I do not think that is the correct way to be speaking to Mr Kirschtein. One more word from you and I think a detention is in order.’

You wanted nothing more than to slap the smug grin off Jean’s face, but being the nice student you were, you sent a winning smile towards the front and returned to your work, devising different ways on how to kill someone using only a pen.

By the end of study hall, you had compiled a list of methods ranging from a quick kill to torturous and was busy trying to decide which one would be most effective when your unknowing victim showed up.

‘You better sleep with one eye open tonight you little-‘

Jean held up a hand. ‘I just wanted to say, Mr. Cold-city-guy was giving you the Gaze of Lust in there.’

You stopped. ‘What the hell is a Gaze of Lust?’

Jean cleared his throat knowingly, adjusted his fake glasses and assumed a scholarly air.

‘He wants to do the diddly with you.’

‘Oh my God.’ You pushed past him and stormed towards your locker. Jean ran after you, looking hurt.

‘You know, I thought you appreciated my love advice.’

You continued rifling through your school books, trying to calm yourself by reorganising everything before you had to explain to Officer Erwin why there was a Jean sized hole in the wall.

‘What are friends for though?’ Jean waggled his eyebrows. ‘I’m trying to set you up.’

‘This is coming from the guy who has periodic hard-ons when Marco walks by.’

‘What can I say?’ Jean smirked. ‘The guy really knows how to do me like a-‘

He was cut off when your locker door slammed into your body and sending you sprawling to the floor amidst a tangle of arms, legs and hair. When you had finally regained your senses, you looked up at the person who had unfortunately landed on you and briefly wondered whether it was worse that Jean almost spieled into his weekend sexual escapades or that the guy who was currently straddling your waist was none other than Levi Freaking Rivaille.

AKA the guy who was expertly labeled as ‘Gaze of Lust Dude.’

‘And my work here is done,’ sniggered Jean as he pranced away in search of his boyfriend.

‘Levi, if I show you this,’ You managed to pull out a crumpled sheet of paper and thrust it in his face. ‘Can you tell me which one would be the best one to do?’

He smoothly plucked the paper out of your hand and scanned the options whilst you tried not to think about how his shirt was riding up.

‘I like No. 12,’ he said, while smirking. ‘Very creative. And I like the colourful language you added to each one. I assume this is for your friend Jean.’

‘You mean mentally challenged retard,’ you muttered.

‘Well as much as I like to stay here like this-,’ he motioned to your intertwined bodies. ‘-people are staring and I do believe that it is time to take you out on a much deserved date.’

‘You know me so well my dear,’ you crooned patting him on the cheek as he dove down and kissed you quickly.

‘So, what is it tonight? The Grudge? The Ring? Your old home videos?’

Levi flushed, a flaring of red dusting his normally pale cheeks. ‘If you tell anyone about that, I may have to kill you.’

‘No you won’t. I’m too cute!’ You giggled, running away whilst your boyfriend ran after you, swearing profusely.

Needless to say, it was more entertaining to keep Jean in the dark.